A note to The Lerilin Breeze

To the Editor-in-chief of The Lerilin Breeze, Mr. Sulovir Soryn the First,

It has come to our attention that, in the latest number of your publication, you refer to a peaceful event in Marali as the city being, we quote, “besieged by a massive army of ants, unparalleled in size and strength”. We are yet to receive an official report from our specialists on the exact details of this massacre, but we must nonetheless write to you to express our disgust by your choice of terms, that turns The Lerilin Breeze, up to now a reliable source, into a tabloid of the worst kind.

Ants have their own business to attend to. They seem to have found the soil of Marali propitious for their constructions and to the establishment of new family lines. We know there were weddings and palaces being built in recent moons, and we should rejoice. No ant has ever attacked a human without being attacked first!

We ask you, consequently, to issue a retraction in your next publication, correcting, as much as possible, the unfair treatment you have given to our noble friends. You should do it as soon as possible, as they are upset with the news and the trauma of being despised and misunderstood may have deeper consequences than you would like. You know what happens to despised and misunderstood communities, don’t you?

Sincerely,

Loabe Myrmidon III

Comments

  • To the esteemed Loabe Myrmidon III,

    We offer our sincere apologies for causing such distress to you, the Myrmecologist Society, and your friends. Regrettably, we lacked enough information on the incident when we went to press, and this seems to have negatively affected our commitment to fair and proportionate representation.

    By way of apology, we would like to offer the Myrmecologist Society the chance to be featured in an editorial in the coming issue, so that you might be able to further share your knowledge and perspective with the wider Lerilin community. Greater understanding of the weddings, palaces, and other customs of the ant species can only be a positive thing!

    Any and all replies may be delivered to our office at The Friendly Turtle Inn—we look forward to hearing from you!

    All the best,

    Sulovir Soryn the First

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