Dispersing a Picnic

Dear Commander McTyr,

Our difficult Uncle and Aunt have been at it again, this time establishing a picnic and party for people with a particularly pervasively perverse palate. As you might expect, this descent into degeneracy devolved in a dire direction, which I dutifully describe as damnable destruction.

I received word from the Major Octave that our city was experiencing a reappearance of Warren and Foura, our raucous relatives. He asked for the aid of myself and Rosina in overturning their picnic baskets and smashing their birthday cakes, and we used Pure Purple Crystals to oblige him in a rapid manner. After all, Marali cares about law and order above all else. We simply could not permit an unlicensed celebration to continue mere steps away from our stronghold.

Soon after we arrived and began our party-crashing efforts with Octave and Ryen, Octave was called away to his duties. In his stead, I took charge of clearing the gates of drunk and wayward partygoers. Unfortunately, they were quite numerous and very irascible. It became abundantly clear that our trio would have to resort to force to make them vacate the premises.

Personally, Commander, I was not fond of removing partygoers and picnickers in such a violent way, and I proposed some sort of musical interlude to lure them away from our beloved bastion—rather like a certain piper of legend, except with a satisfactory ending. My two companions, however, took a more hardline approach to quelling this unwarranted food-based celebration. Ryen seemed downright eager to create fields of venom that could afflict multiple attendees, causing them to run for the latrines, and Fuoco explained that removing these individuals was necessary.

I wish I could argue in good faith that they were incorrect, but the later events corrected my perspective.

You see, some particularly hungry picnickers, no doubt upset we had cleaved their cakes in two and shot the blankets they had set out with arrows, decided to creep around our guards through a secret entrance they discovered and widened through sheer tenacity. Immediately realizing the disastrous implications of their intrusion into a secured area, I endeavored to race back into the city and confront their brazen disregard for the safety of Marali’s civilians. Thankfully, I was able to handle a four such trespassers on my own, and Ryen and Fuoco handled the remainder without much difficulty.

We then encountered a sinuous laborer who blocked this entrance with objects the alcohol-addled attendees would lack the audacity and acumen to remove. It seems as though we will need a more permanent solution to prevent more of these ruffians from entering our city. If you explore our perimeter, you may be able to determine what exactly we will need, and if you have the time, I would encourage you to do. Otherwise, I can tell you about this entrance in person.

Returning to the main source of the problem, we quickly dispatched the remaining group of picnickers closest to the gate, and I proposed we use a more peaceful solution to the remaining group. I even would have condoned allowing them to restart their festivities, provided they did not move closer to the gate (or Ybarra forbid beyond it). Unfortunately, once again, my suggestion was met with disdain, and Ryen rushed off to afflict the remaining individuals with a surfeit of poison, Fuoco soon following.

It was then that one particularly vicious partygoer, no doubt intoxicated by the spicy cooking of our Aunt and Uncle (among other substances), reached into the pocket of her robes and procured a poisoned mandible. I wish I were jesting, Commander, but this is rather serious: she managed to slay Ryen by jabbing him in the neck with it repeatedly while some other partygoers kept Ryen rooted to the spot with their middling skill in magery.

After he was resurrected, he swore revenge on this particular person. While I attempted to calm him down and convince him to act with mercy, he was unconvinced: he chased down this woman, bolting her repeatedly, and the electricity from his hands soon cooked her most thoroughly. I was terse with him, but I know he is a close associate of Jedd’s, and I do not wish to cause tension with anyone of that association unless there is due cause; this fell just shy of qualifying.

We had to seal a luxurious corridor that led to an unusually ornate V.I.P. celebration room, and we enlisted Marali’s guards to do so, as they have experience with similar matters. You may recall that they assisted us in a similar situation late last year.

After we had done so, however, I made a tactical error: I returned the Bottles of Poison that Ryen had purchased to deter the Aunt and Uncle’s company from constructing additional corridors. Very foolish, my friend. He had proven himself unable to handle humane methods of dispersing the partygoers, and I should have known he would use them for a wanton desecration of the flora outside our gate.

That being said…if the Bottles of Poison were strong enough to discourage further celebrations, I think my mistake may serve some dark purpose yet. You had mentioned an extreme measure, and we were hoping to do so only as a last resort. Perhaps my companions would argue that such a last resort was necessary, and I can hardly protest such a harsh judgment, given the threat these individuals posed to the innocents within our walls.

McTyr, I have other matters to discuss, but we should keep up our talk of Aunts, Uncles, Gamblers, lighthouses, and Wraiths in the meantime.

I trust you are doing well and your stroll with Kang and Emma was successful, as usual.

Marali Prevails.


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